I feel like my late grandmother. But I think it's true. I've become a hypochondriac. I imagine everyday pains or issues becoming a life threatening illness or disease. I google symptoms and feel like I've developed something. This week I was in between a blod clot that may end up as a pulmonary embolism or multiple sclerosis. I have no clue why! Well I do.. It was the trauma of Carter's birth and the sudden passing of my grandmother. I'm afraid to die and leave my family and friends, especially Jim, Carter, and my mom.
This blog was originally started for me to address these issues and write about them. But then I figured I'd sound crazy writing it down. I need it to be cathartic so I can help myself over these feelings and the PTSD. 2012 will be my year to end the cycle. Well at least I'm hoping. 4 months of these feelings is plenty. Luckily it hasn't been solid and I've had great weeks. So here is hoping for some relief..
Off to be a mommy!
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